She sat there on the living room floor watching her new favorite show, and suddenly let out a loud high-pitched burst of laughter. Her laugh was filled with such pure joy and was completely contagious, bringing smiles to all of our faces as we sat there watching her. She had no self-consciousness about the volume or pitch of her laughter. She just lived in the moment. And in that moment her favorite new show struck her suddenly as hilarious. Absolutely hilarious.

People often joke about having “no filter”. We use the term to describe someone who seems to have no self-consciousness about what they say or do, and simply says or does whatever comes to mind. Most of us know that there are social norms that constrain us from saying and doing certain things in society. This is the filter we use when we interact with others. When we know that something is seen as strange or unacceptable to society, we just don’t go there. We stop ourselves from saying or doing that thing we know could be perceived as “weird” or “not OK”. Having “no filter” means that these social norms, that normally constrain, do not constrain. 

Our daughter lives life unfiltered. She isn’t self-conscious about much of anything she says or does. The social norms do not constrain her like they do me, or my husband, or our son. She feels what she feels, and she will tell you or sometimes show you, without holding back. This can be really difficult when she gets upset or frustrated in public. It often leads to a meltdown wherever we are, and without any thought as to who may be standing around watching. And while she may not be self-conscious, even after all these years, we sometimes still find we are. 

Diagnosed with Autism, in addition to speech and language delays it has been more difficult for my daughter to decipher her own emotions, as well as the emotions and social cues of others. As a result, that social filter that is intrinsic to most has been more elusive for her. This has meant that over the years she has had to work really hard to learn to identify emotions in herself and others, and to learn the coping strategies for handling and filtering those emotions when communicating. We couldn’t be more proud of her. 

Her struggle just to be able to communicate with others is nothing short of a miracle. Envision yourself in a foreign country, where you do not know the language or social customs, so you cannot tell what anyone else is saying, nor can you tell what is socially acceptable in that society. Then imagine that you also have a hard time knowing what your own needs are, and speaking clearly to convey those needs to others. Complicated right? It’s complicated for sure and it often breaks your heart for your child as you watch them struggle.

But here’s the thing. Having no filter can go both ways. It can be incredibly hard, but it can also be an incredible blessing. While my daughter has no filter for caring what others think when she pitches a fit in Costco, she also has no filter to stop her from asking the man in the checkout line if he knows and loves Jesus. I cannot count the times she has done this. Here, there, and everywhere she spreads the love of God to anyone who hears and sees her. Belly laughs, impromptu hugs and “I love you’s”, and exuberant compliments to others are all given out without a care as to what the world thinks. There is something to be learned from this kind of pure unfiltered passion.

“Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them”

Jesus took time to recognize this kind of unfiltered approach to life. In fact He showed that it was of great value to Him. When the disciples tried to send away the little children that were being brought to Him, Jesus instead called the children to him and said “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of God belongs to such as these” (Luke 18:16). And He went on to say that we must all receive the kingdom of God like a little child (18:17). He was speaking of that unabashed, exuberant, all-in, kind of trust and faith that a child has. There is no filter of pretension; there is just purely being in the moment and living life to the fullest. 

In this age of social media and all that goes along with trying to create the perfect image, isn’t it refreshing to be reminded by our children that sometimes being a little less filtered can be a really beautiful thing.