“The sidewalk says BOOM”, she said with a giggle while watching from the window. 

We’re working on another construction project at our house. This time in the backyard. It’s basically a Father’s Day and Anniversary gift rolled into one, and so this was how we awoke one morning this week, with a bobcat outside jack-hammering our old concrete patio into bits and pieces. After 14 years of living with the 70’s style patio it was time for an update. So, there we were with our noses pressed to the window, both of us excited to watch as the work began. I had worried beforehand that the noise would be too loud for our daughter, because she has sensory issues with sound. Instead, I found that she understood exactly what we were up to and wasn’t upset by the noise at all. In fact, she merrily went along with it watching from the window and commenting with a giggle as the floor shook beneath our feet. 

Over the years we have done allot of construction projects at our home, which is frankly likely why our daughter wasn’t surprised at what we were up to that morning. We started with a fresh coat of paint when we bought the house and quickly moved onto the building of a couple of fences. Then the projects morphed into a more serious scale. In the last 8 years we’ve renovated our kitchen, dining room, living room, family room, laundry room, master bedroom, and bathrooms. Basically, our whole house. And when I say we did the projects; I mean WE did the projects. Luckily construction is in our veins. My husband’s Grampa and mine were both contractors and my Dad is an architect, who’s passion is also personally restoring old homes and buildings. When we were in high school one of my older brothers and I spent weekends helping to restore a beautiful old 1910 craftsman style house that my parents turned into a bed and breakfast. Later on, my family of four would have the blessing of living in that house while our kids were little. 

We were no experts going into this construction/ remodeling thing.  Everything we now know we learned from my Dad and Mom and others who have helped us along the way. My husband has learned not only how to build fences but also to frame walls, engineer electrical wiring, hang and tape drywall, and many other skills along the way. While I have become our resident landscaper, interior designer, painter, and drywall texturer. It’s also been a huge blessing to watch our son learn so much of this as well. Many memories have been made with all of us working side by side.

One of the biggest things we’ve all learned is that you have to embrace the process. Actually, I’m still learning this even after all the projects we’ve done. We’ve learned that almost nothing is ever truly square or level. Meaning that you often have to take something that isn’t “correct” and work with it in order to get the end result you want. We’ve also learned that almost everything takes longer, costs more, and is more disruptive to your life than you think it will be. Meaning that you often have to invest more of your time and money than you thought you’d have to and live with the chaos of the project. And we’ve learned, correction I’ve learned, that throwing a fit about it won’t make the process go any quicker or easier. You just have to embrace the process, make the next decision, get to work, and ride it out. When I think about it construction is really a good metaphor for life. 

Square and Level:

Square and level are two very important concepts and realities in construction. Basically, when you are looking to build anything you want to know that the angles are correct or squared up at 90 degrees, and that the lines are level to where you need them to be. However, often you find when doing a renovation that when you open up a building and take a look inside, not everything is square and level. One reason is that things settle over time and are no longer as perfect as they once were. This of course can happen to us in life as well. No, I’m not talking about aging, though that thought did occur to me with all these projects causing both of us to wake up reaching for the anti inflammatories. No, I’m simply referring to the dilemma of perfectionism. It takes allot to maintain perfect especially over the years, and especially when you are raising a child with special needs who requires allot of your time and care and who is predictably unpredictable. Over time, trying to keep everything perfect can wear you out and before long you may find that you are no longer able to maintain the standard of perfection that you once did. However, just like in construction this can actually be a blessing. Sometimes finding things during a construction project that aren’t as you thought they “should be” can actually free you up to go a whole new direction with the project. It can cause you to look outside of the box and create something new and even better than you’d planned. Or it can cause you to take a step back and find the beauty in what is already there. So too in life. Sometimes good enough is really “good enough”. There’s something beautiful that happens when we chose to surrender and be content, finding the good in the life that is in front of you rather than striving for an unobtainable perfect. Counting your blessings along the way can bring so much peace in life. 

Be Prepared to Invest:

When looking at the investment of a construction project it’s important to know that projects almost always go over in time and money, and they can be messy and disruptive to your life. But what also typically happens with a construction project is that in the end when you finally sit back and take a look at the results, you find that it was all worth it. Life can be like this as well. The things and people we care most about we invest in, and it doesn’t matter if it’s messy or even disruptive to our lives at times. Parenting of course, is a great example of this. Honestly before I had children of my own, I only saw the fun parts to parenting, it wasn’t until I had my own kids that I saw what it truly took to be a good parent. When you are a parent you invest all you have and more in your child. And if you’re a parent raising a child with special needs you go on doing this for more years than most. And, just like in construction, when we stand back and look at the beauty that has come out of all the hard and perhaps the messy, and we see the overall picture before us, we see that the benefits far outweigh the investments. 

Tantrums Don’t Work:

Lastly the biggest thing I’ve learned in both construction and life is that throwing a fit when things aren’t going your way won’t help make things go any easier or faster. So many things go wrong during the process of a construction project and so too in life. Often you start out moving in one direction with a project and then find that you have to make a shift, an adjustment, or maybe even go in a whole other direction. This is where you learn to embrace the process. If you stand in one place for too long complaining about what isn’t working or isn’t right, then you’ll never move forward and get anywhere. And it certainly won’t go any faster. You simply have to choose to do the next thing, to take the next step and trust the process. It also doesn’t make it any easier to throw a tantrum over what has gone “wrong”. In fact, it only makes the process harder because when you can’t do anything to change the circumstances it only becomes more frustrating to sit there complaining. So too in life. When hard things come our way yes, it’s definitely important to voice your feelings, but it doesn’t do any good to stay stuck in those feelings and unable to move forward. God has given us a beautiful example of how to handle hardships in life and to move forward by trusting His process. In The Message Version of Philippians 4:13 it says, “I’ve learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. I’m just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I’ve found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am.” 

Happy Father’s Day to my Dad and Hubby and to all the other amazing Dads out there who are loving and serving their families every day.