“Is it summer now? I’m ready for a good vacation”, she turned and asked in her adorable but straightforward manner. 

The three of us burst out laughing, and at once she knew she had said something funny, so she let out a little giggle of her own. Then satisfied with a job well done, she proudly went off to play.    

Our girl doesn’t usually say things intending to get a laugh, but often the straightforward way in which she says out loud what everyone else is really thinking, leads to her getting the biggest laugh of all. 

It’s been 5 months now of sticking to our same small routines and our same small sphere of people and spaces as a family. Don’t get me wrong our people and spaces have been there for us, and they are what has kept us sane during this incredibly hard time. But still, as a family we have been too pent up for too long causing an intense drive to want to “get out”. So, by mid-summer, we found ourselves desperately wanting to see and do something more than what we’d been seeing and doing for months on end. I’m sure we are not the only ones that have felt this way this summer. 

We are a family that likes to camp. Eric and I both grew up camping, and so when our son was just a baby, we took our first family camping trip up the California coast. Back then we tented it. Yes, it was a ton of work packing and unpacking all that camping gear not to mention all that travel sized baby gear into our small car, but it was so worth it. Then a few years later, after taking a trip in my Aunt and Uncle’s borrowed tent trailer, we decided to buy a small hybrid trailer of our own. And the rest is history. We’ve driven to and camped in every state on the west coast and on up into British Columbia Canada. And we’ve traveled through and camped in most of the south west and north west states including Arizona, New Mexico, Nevada, Colorado, Utah, Idaho, Wyoming, Montana, and South Dakota. In traveling to all these places we have been able to see incredible sites like Yellowstone, Mount Rushmore, the Grand Canyon, and much more. And now we have many wonderful memories to cherish as a family. We love camping. 

But this year has been different; of course, so we weren’t exactly sure that we’d be able to camp. Once we got word that we could camp the question quickly turned to where and how we could camp. We were so excited. We started by finding a place in the mountains only a day’s drive away and began to plan. And thankfully the answer to how we would get there in the midst of restaurant and bathroom closures would be easy because we could tow our trusty trailer. Everything looked like smooth sailing, and as our daughter put it, we were so, “ready for a good vacation”. 

We started off with a few bumps along the way but pressed on grabbing ahold of our newly found freedom. We were on the road again and no one could stop us from having fun now. We wound up the mountain road until at last we were surrounded by big beautiful Sequoia’s. It was amazing. We rolled down the window and breathed in the cool fresh mountain air infused with the scent of pine. Awe…vacation! We pulled into our campsite and had the perfect spot. We were surrounded by large trees everywhere and down below our trailer pad was a clearing for our fire pit where after dinner we roasted marsh mellows and made smores that night. It was heavenly! As our daughter drifted off to sleep safe inside our trailer, we sat with our son around the fire looking up at the space between those massive trees where we could see what turned out to be the Perseid meteor shower streaking across the sky. From our tiny spot up there on that beautiful big mountain we could even see the Milky Way painted across the dark expanse. Oh, how true it is that, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.” (Psalms 19:1)

The next day we had planned to take a day trip to see some of the giant sequoias, but then changed our plans when we found a sandy cove on the nearby lake where we could swim and play all day. So, we hauled all of our stuff down from the parking lot above and set up the perfect day camp area for our family. We were nervous at first. Would our girl even wear the spring wetsuit we’d bought, but never tried on her. Would she freak out when her toes touched the cold lake water, or would she enjoy the chance to swim again after missing it so much with our local pool closed. And praise God she did amazing! Did she squeal and protest? Absolutely, but that didn’t really become an issue because thankfully I had gotten into the water before her and had met some nice moms who I quickly informed of my daughter’s special needs. Those moms then just as quickly turned to inform their kids and instructed them to be inclusive, friendly, and kind to our daughter, who was now next to me and squealing with each new body part that descended into the water. We went on to swim in that lake for several hours that day pausing on and off to enjoy a picnic lunch, play a few games, and relax in our camp chairs. It was a day to remember. 

As often happens; however, following that magical day on the shore was a full on melt down later that night when we tried to get out of the car and go for a dinner on the harbor. We even had hamburgers and french fries, her absolute favorites, waiting within sight for us and still she couldn’t calm her dysregulated body down. Poor girl she’d done so well all day and now this. Our best guess at the cause was that she had expected to eat immediately upon exiting the car and had not expected to have to walk to and wait for dinner. So, she just lost it. And no amount of explaining verbally or non-verbally was going to get through to her. So, we let her ride it out in the safety of our car, and then we tried again and this time it worked. Of course, it worked this time in part because my son and I ordered and brought the food to the table before she ever arrived with my husband. Necessity is the mother of invention; can I get a witness. After this we were able to get some fun family pictures by the lake at sunset and went for a drive before settling in for the night. 

I wish I could tell you that the rest of our vacation was incredible and filled with all kinds of fun family memories. The truth is it was, but it also wasn’t. Isn’t that just how it can be sometimes when a family goes on vacation. The reality is that this happens so much more often for families like ours who have a loved one with special needs because things are just more complicated. There is more planning that goes into everything we do. Modifications and adjustments must be made taking into consideration things like sensory issues, medical needs, ease of access, and special diets in order to set our loved ones up for success. And even when we do all of these things it can still go wrong. 

Over the course of the next few days of our vacation that’s just what happened. Things continued to be up and down for us. Sometimes things went incredibly right and sometimes things went horribly wrong. We had an amazing time swimming and kayaking, we had lots of fun making smores under the stars at night, we thoroughly enjoyed seeing the giant Sequoias, and we delighted in making new friends everywhere we went. But we also dealt with more than a few tantrums, woke up at midnight not once but twice to BM accidents that we had to scramble to clean up, sustained a flat tire and bent rim on our trailer while driving, and found that some sort of critter had chewed through one of our electric lines. Our days were full of adventure that’s for sure.

Truthfully for those of us with children with special needs “a good vacation” may not ever look like sipping a fun drink on a sandy beach somewhere while relaxing the day away. It may mean allot more work and allot less play. But let me encourage you that “a good vacation” is also what you make of it. If you can learn to find the little things that make you and your family happy; and if you can learn to cherish those times that go right and ride out those times that go wrong you will be a much happier camper both on vacation and in life. Happy vacationing!