That morning Abbey was extra chatty. Our family affectionately calls this “firing on all cylinders”. We were on a break from school, and so we were able to enjoy one of our slower mornings. For us, this usually means that we get to stay in our PJs just a little bit longer, and that we have a little more free time to play before beginning the day’s schedule. Side note, a schedule of course is nothing new for families like ours. Schedules just help to keep our kids feeling more regulated. And it doesn’t matter if it’s a typical work day, a weekend, or a holiday break, we parents of children with special needs still find ourselves creating and keeping one. But that’s another story for another time. So, there we were that day watching cartoons in our PJs, while I washed what was left of the morning dishes, and Abbey started in with her questions.
Her first question had me rolling with laughter, “Does Grandma grow jello in her garden?”.
“Well”, I answered, “Sort of. She grows the berries that she likes to put in her jello.”
Abbey seemed satisfied with my straightforward answer, and went about busily entertaining herself, occasionally shooting 1 or 2 more questions at me as she played. They were all sweet questions, filled with a sense of curiosity about life. And I was thankful they were all questions that I could easily answer.
Then as she sat there putting together her favorite puzzle, she suddenly posed a much deeper question, “Does God get frustrated at me?”.
The question had me spinning a bit. Apparently, she had a guilty conscious over something, but what? I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure how to answer for a second. I said a quick prayer, and then dove in.
“No sweetie God doesn’t get frustrated at you. He loves you and He understands”, I answered.
Without even waiting for me to finish, she looked up at me and simply said, “He sees our hearts.” There was no hint of doubt in her voice. She didn’t skip a beat. She knew the truth and that was that.
Her answer left me standing there in awe. It was so profound, and so sweet, and so TRUE!
As one of my brothers said later that day when I shared the story with him, “Take away the filter and the truth is obvious. Some things she sees and understands more clearly than all of us.”
“The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.”
1 Samuel 16:7b
What a relief to know that God doesn’t judge us as others do. He doesn’t care if we have money, fame, good looks, or anything temporal that the world may value. He only cares about our hearts. Nor does He ever hold a grudge, as others might when we’ve done something wrong. The very instant He sees that our hearts are turned towards Him, and that we are repentant, He forgives us completely (1John 1:9, Psalms 103:12).
Psalms 86:5 reminds us, “You, Lord, are forgiving and good, abounding in love to all who call to you.”
We tend to complicate things. My daughter didn’t see it as complicated. Before I could give my biblically sound well thought out answer, Abbey knew the answer and it was simple in her mind, “He sees our hearts”.
If you are struggling today with a feeling of guilt from your past, or maybe from something more recent like a momentary loss of patience this morning as you dealt with your child’s repeated needs, just remember what is true. “He sees our hearts” and His love and forgiveness are never ending.
