I was knee deep in dealing with the week’s dirty laundry. Somehow our laundry bins always seem to end up overflowing into a mound of messy clothes on the floor. Try as I might to keep organized, it often ends up that way before I can even begin to tackle the task. Abbey was busying herself around the house that day, and happily ventured into our room, where I was sorting and scooping dirty laundry into baskets on the floor of our walk-in closet. 

She chatted me up for a few minutes and then said contentedly, “I’m giving myself a kiss” and blew a kiss. Apparently, she was quite proud of herself in that moment, and this was her way of expressing it. She wanted to share that she was extending love to herself not necessarily for something she’d just done, but just for the delight of who she was. The comment was the equivalent of, “I love myself”, but not in a braggadocious way, but simply a self-appreciation for who God had made her to be. 

What a beautiful example of love for all of us to stop and consider. Abbey has a disability, but really it’s kind of her superpower. Simply put, she has a different ability to see what others often cannot. To see the simple pleasures in life, to see the pain that others are hiding behind a fake façade, to see the need in others and even in herself more clearly than most of us can.  

That day I had been chiding myself secretly in my closet for being so behind with the laundry and so behind on so many things. But when I heard her comment, it made me pause and think, “Is that how I should see myself?”. The reality is that I have allot on my plate in just about every area of my life, and there are only so many hours in a day in which to get them all done. Frankly there is more to get done in one day, then hours to get it all done. So, the truth is I’m not lazy or neglectful, I’m not unworthy of grace for myself. I’m just behind because of my circumstances and in any case, circumstances shouldn’t have any bearing on how I see myself. 

God doesn’t see me this way. God doesn’t base his view of me or my worth on how well I do. He only loves me for me. He loves you and I wholly and completely without reservation and without basing it on a standard of what we do, how good we are, or how much we achieve in this life. He just simply loves us for us. 

It says in the Bible that, “The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7)

So, if God can extend that kind of grace based wholehearted love to us, why can’t we extend that kind of love and grace to ourselves. The answer is that we can. So, the next time you’re chiding yourself for getting behind on things like having the laundry done, or for making a mistake like not being patient enough with your child, or for not being perfect and an expert on any number of things that your child needs, let it go. Give yourself grace. And love yourself as God loves you. Wholly and completely: faults, mistakes, misgivings, and all.