Abbey just celebrated her 19^th birthday. How is this even possible? Time goes so fast! So true is the saying, “The days are long but the years are short”.

I have allot of mixed feelings about this new stage and age. With her adult status comes all sorts of new supports, but with it also comes many new struggles like the complicated application process for SSI and other necessary programs; and many more difficult decisions like whether to conserve or not, and whether to pursue residential placement or not. We’ve been doing this for a year now, since the day she turned 18, and it has literally taken us this long to have SSI accept her into the program and begin paying her monthly supports. There is no straightforward protocol for how things are done with this program it seems. Each case has vastly different outcomes, yet if one is applying to disability-based SSI it should be simple and standardized, just as it is for those receiving it based on age. However, it is in no way simple and straightforward. The results are so subjective. It’s all so ridiculous and frustrating for parents just trying to set their disabled adult child up with the supports that they will need to make it beyond their parents’ lifetime.

On the other hand, there are ways in which Abbey is now growing that we never thought we would see, and it is so very exciting. There has been growth in her ability to communicate which has been amazing. And growth in her understanding of friendships, dating, and marriage relationships. And there has been growth in her independence and skills. There has also been this incredible heightened sense of awareness for her surroundings and for cause and effect. So now we get to hear all about the things she remembers from years ago and what her thoughts are.

Best of all there is a hilarious new use of common sayings and scripts applied to her life and ours. The other day she was blessed to receive a belated birthday gift from a dear friend in the mail. As it had been 2 weeks of celebrations and gifts coming in for her, including the amazing Costco Ambassador swag (see Making Friends: Update) the week before her birthday, she must have begun to realize that her birthday had been extended in some pretty cool ways.

Abbey, unwrapped the gift like a pro and mid unwrapping, looked at us and said with a giggle in her voice, “Christmas doesn’t end!”.

It was the equivalent of, “My Birthday is the gift that keeps on giving”. Eric and I burst into laughter, and if my back had allowed me to you could’ve found me rolling on the floor, it was that funny! Once again, we had no idea that she could understand equating her favorite holiday with her birthday and then wrapping that all up with a joke. A pretty sophisticated one at that. It was absolutely brilliant. She was brilliant and it was a beautiful moment for all of us in the midst of all the hard things we were dealing with that week, like the fight with SSI.

It got me thinking. With Abbey, Christmas never ends. God has given us the gift that keeps on giving with our girl. And what an incredible gift she is.