Our 25^th Anniversary

I can hardly believe we did it! We got away for an entire week for our 25^th anniversary this summer! For years we planned to do something big for our 25^th, but then Abbey’s needs overtook every thought of ever being able to get away for more than one night and celebrate like this.

Then one day I began plotting and planning how it might just be possible for Eric and I to be able to get away and celebrate. I was sitting in a chair at my hair salon talking to the sweet young mom who does my hair, and I began to share with her about how our amazing respite caregiver of ten years who had become a part of our family, had recently moved to Tennessee, but had agreed to the possibility of coming out for a week to care for Abbey if we wanted to get away for our anniversary. Eric and I were so excited and had started to look into a getaway close by in San Diego. We could hardly believe that a week away might be within our grasp. As I talked, I began to explain that we had always wanted to go to one of the Hawaiian Islands for our 25^th, but that it was just too complicated and likely too expensive. Just then my hair stylist spun the chair around to face me in the direction of the woman sitting next to me, who was in the middle of getting her hair done by another stylist.

My friend simply said, “These two are experts on vacationing in Hawaii. You should talk with them. Christen, you can’t just stay local you need to get away.”

One thing led to another, and after connecting with a couple of contacts given by these women, within a few days we had a week-long vacation booked to Maui in July to celebrate our 25^th wedding anniversary! We were a bit numb, hardly believing this could be possible for us, and at the same time we were so incredibly excited.

With all the enthusiasm and energy of our younger twenty-something-selves we began to plan each detail of our trip. We had a bucket list that included: taking a helicopter ride around the island, sailing and snorkeling on the reefs, eating at some place fancy on the beach, hiking and swimming in waterfalls, enjoying Hula pie and Hawaiian shaved ice, and of course going to a luau. We didn’t go completely crazy with our newfound freedom; however, and fill up every minute with activities, because we knew we would need this once-in-a-lifetime vacation to also rest and relax. Our life is so continuously filled with the external stresses of full time caregiving, that we knew we would need time to down shift and recuperate from it all. So, we planned that too. Large portions of time were carved out of the schedule just to swim in the resort’s meandering waterfall encircled pool, to nap and listen to the sound of waves crashing outside our room, to recline on lounge chairs and enjoy lunch served by the pool with tropical umbrella topped drinks, to go for long drives winding around the island’s picturesque blue shores. We basically planned to do as little or as much as we desired on this vacation created for two.

Our vacation began with a one-night-stay at a beautiful waterfront hotel in San Diego, a yummy dinner on the bay, and was topped off with a nighttime fireworks display from our Sea World across the bay. The next morning, we awoke and headed to the airport. Unfortunately, we had received some bad advice from a hotel clerk about simply taking their taxes instead of a scheduled lift and sat through a bumpy and non-air-conditioned smelly cab ride, that cost more than the Uber the night before, but nothing could dampen our excitement. When we got to the Airport the baggage check-in staff was incredibly kind and upon hearing it was our 25^th sent us to the expedited line for check in. Unfortunately, they had mistakenly typed my birthdate incorrectly into the system and so we had to run back, have it corrected, and try again. Still nothing could hold back our excitement. Before boarding, Eric had been told we’d be served a lovely chicken sandwich on the plane, and so he called me back from buying something for us to eat. I would find out later that this wasn’t to be and I would end up contenting myself with a packed snack instead, as they only had a microwavable processed cheese and fried chicken sandwich made of all kinds of things that I couldn’t eat. Despite these small setbacks our excitement continued to build. Our life has been a proving ground for how to keep calm and carry on that’s for sure. As we sat there waiting for our section to be called, I grabbed a quick pic of our boarding passes sitting in our laps (yes, I had them printed out so I could keep them as a keepsake). After all, who knew if we would ever be able to do something like this again.

We boarded the plane and breathed a big sigh of relief and realization. We made it! We were on the plane bound for Maui, and our adventure together was about to begin. We found the emergency isle seats we had purchased for extra leg room for my six-foot five-inch hubby and sat down together. Then, and this may sound strange to some or familiar to others of you who are also full-time caregivers, we sat there in those seats feeling so incredibly blessed just to be on an airplane together. Even if it meant hours of sitting, to have uninterrupted time like that for us is almost unheard of. Getting to sit there next to each other for hours on end without anyone to care for but us, and being able to rest and read and nap and talk was absolutely AMAZING!

Things only got better of course from there, as God began to shower gift upon gift on us. Upon arrival we were greeted with a lay ceremony our sweet travel agent had arranged. Next, we picked up the rental car, made one quick stop to the local Costco for supplies, walked across the way for lunch at a couple of fun food trucks, and had more than a few rooster sightings. Then it was off to the Sheraton Maui Resort and Spa in Kaanapali. When we walked into the lobby, we were greeted by the balmy ocean breeze making its way across the open-air space and the fragrance of tropical flowers all around us. We walked up to the check in desk and found a friendly staff member eager to tell us that for our 25^th we had the option to upgrade to the Moana wing. This is the highly sought after section of rooms that overlook the ocean and are the most secluded of all the rooms atop of Black Rock. The view from our balcony was almost indescribable. Then as if on cue, a rainbow appeared just as we walked out of our door to explore the property that afternoon. We returned and rested, and watched the sun begin to set from our balcony, then walked down to the beach to see the evening torch lighting and cliff dive ceremony. After this we strolled along the sidewalk path that led to Whalers Village and found a beautiful open-air restaurant that we happened upon without reservations. We were treated to a yummy leisurely dinner and an impromptu hula dance from some generous local women eating there that night. It was a magical start to an unforgettable trip for the two of us.

The next day we woke and dressed in our swimsuits and went down to the pool. Though it wasn’t very early, there was no one in the pool yet, so we had fun exploring our new snorkel gear we had bought. Then we dropped our towels on a couple of lounge chairs, walked straight out onto the beach, and dove into the water to find we had only to swim a little way to the nearby Black Rock reef teaming with fish. We held hands and kicked and floated along. It was so serene. All we could do was say to each other, “This is AMAZING!”, and then poke our faces back into the water for more. Like two little kids we began to have fun diving down to the reef. Being out there in that peaceful space was just what our souls had needed. God was so good to give us this beautiful gift.

The rest of the trip was exactly that. A beautiful gift from God. Each day was filled with its own adventure and it’s quiet restorative moments too. We took a snorkel sail trip and saw several pods of dolphin making their way through and sea turtles right in front of our eyes the moment we dove in to explore the reef. We hiked to and swam in a beautiful waterfall. We ate Hawaiian ice almost every day and had more than a couple complimentary Hula Pies given to us in celebration of our anniversary. We received another unexpected upgrade for two front row seats and embraced the adventure of that helicopter ride around the island. And we thoroughly enjoyed our fancy anniversary dinner on the beach. We laughed and played together, and we felt young and carefree once again. We gladly welcomed all we had been given by this momentary gift and we were satisfied. You see there is something this life has taught us well, and that is to cherish each moment, no matter how long it lasts. We knew by week’s end that we would be back to life as usual with full time caregiving and all our schedules and appointments, but while we were here, we were going to live each and every moment to the fullest, and so we did.

Our 25th anniversary truly was an incredible gift from God, with memories that will last a lifetime for us. In fact, it helped us to see that this extended time away is not only a good thing, but it is necessary. So now we have a new adventure ahead of us. Eric and I plan to take advantage of the time we have in these next two summers, while Abbey still attends her transitions program with a guaranteed summer school schedule, and go on a couple more once-in-a-lifetime vacations. We figure we may never be able to do it again, and so the time to do it is now.

We’ve begun planning and it’s so exciting. We know that in life we are not really guaranteed anything, but we can still press on, and we can dream dreams, and we can hope. Keep going. Keep pressing on everyone. Yes, life can be filled with hard circumstances especially as a special needs family, but it’s also filled with many moments of hope too. Know that you are not alone. We are walking with you. There is a community of many walking with you. And there is always hope because God is walking with you. He knows the plans, He makes the way, and He gives good gifts in His perfect timing.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father.., who does not change like shifting shadows.” – James 1:17

Special Note: This Post was written just prior to the Maui fires. Eric and I cannot stop thinking of the many locals we met and talked with in shops, on the streets, in restaurants, in hotels, and at various businesses along the way during our trip to Maui. So many incredibly kind and hardworking people of all ages who were students, sisters, brothers, aunts, uncles, parents, husbands, wives, and grandparents all with families of their own and beautiful lives. Our hearts and prayers go out to the many people impacted by this devastating event.