The God Who Sees

Do you ever feel like no one really sees you and your child or what you are going through? That no one understands? No one seems to see the hard that you and your family are enduring or how much your child and your family are struggling. This is a common occurrence for our families. Families caring for a child, teen, or adult with special needs are often misunderstood or left feeling unseen. Just this past week, I had five separate conversations with five different families each experiencing this in a variety of different ways. Sure, there are lots of amazing programs out there that support individuals with special needs and strive to bring awareness, but in the world at large and even among our friends and family many times our lives are simply not understood, and we find ourselves unseen.

To be seen and understood is a fundamental human need. Research has shown that in infancy being seen with eye-to-eye contact is crucial for development and bonding. Later, as adults in the workplace being acknowledged or seen for one’s efforts is critical for productivity and creating a positive work environment. We all want to be seen. Being seen by another confirms that we are not alone in this world or in our circumstances. When a friend listens intently to our story and then echoes back to us that they have heard, we feel heard and seen. When a teacher, coach, or employer takes the time to acknowledge our hard work, we feel validated and seen.

However, when friends no longer send invites because they do not understand our child’s disability and therefore they no longer understand us, we can feel forgotten and unseen. When strangers in stores comment on our parenting, all the while unaware of the clear needs and the struggles of our child, we can feel judged and unseen. When family members host a special event like a wedding and, despite our best efforts to provide accommodations for one moment of inclusion, opt for the exclusion of our child altogether, we can feel heartbroken and unseen. These painful and isolating experiences cut deep and are unfortunately all too common for our families. They are a reminder of a reality we frequently face as families, a reminder that we are not truly seen, even at times by those who are closest to us.

But take heart, there is someone who sees you. Someone who has seen you from the very beginning and who sees all that you, your child, and your family are going through. God sees you.

The bible tells us in Psalms 139: 13-16,

“For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place when I was woven together in the depths of the earth. Your eyes saw my unformed body; all the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

We may appear to go unseen in this world, but we can know beyond a shadow of a doubt that our God sees us. He sees our pain and he sits beside us in the midst of it like no one else can.

He knows everything about us and about our child and our family because he made us, and he loves us very much. God has a beautiful way of seeing us. For after all He is “El Roi” or “the God who sees”.  This was the first name spoken of God in the bible, and it was a name given by Sarah’s servant Hagar, when in her hour of need, God reached out to her in the dessert and told her that He was with her and her child– that she and her son were seen. (Genesis 16:13).

There is no doubt that it can be a painful experience when we are not seen or understood by others around us especially those closest to us. But we can place our trust in this, that God will never leave us or forsake us, that he will always love us, and that we are seen and fully known by him.

One final note. The holidays can be especially hard. We want you to know that you are not alone. Our community gets it, and we are here to help bring connection, encouragement, and hope for the road ahead, so please reach out. We have lots of resources and events to connect with us on, no matter where you live. And we would love the opportunity to help bring hope to you and your family this holiday season!