It’s on the forefront of everyone’s minds of course. The Coronavirus Pandemic or should we say PanicDemic of 2020. The news is an endless 24/7 stream of frightening facts. This news all seemed pretty distant to most of us, until it wasn’t. Until it started to come to our state, our county, and maybe even our city. Or maybe at this point you know someone who knows someone who has it. Or maybe sadly you even know someone firsthand or have been someone who has had it. This isn’t a light matter. I get it. I worked in healthcare. And I have family and friends who are working on the front lines right now. Coronavirus is real and it has very real consequences for those who get it and cannot recover from it. And it strikes an extra level of fear and panic into the hearts of those of us caring for someone who cannot care for themselves because they have special needs. My heart is especially sensitive to those of you with children that are medically fragile. The fear is real. For us the fear stems from the fact that our daughter has developmental delays as well as a diagnosis of Autism, and so there is no way that she would be able to understand and endure the treatments if she got sick, let alone be able to be separated from us for a hospitalization. And of course, we’ve also thought of the scary prospect of either one of us or both of us getting it and being separated from her and unable to care for her. Again, the fear is real. The question is, as we are facing this very real virus and we have these very real fears, what do we do? How do we deal?

Don’t Panic:

I love watching Bear Grylls the British survivalist adventurer. He’s best known for his show where he takes celebrities out into the elements and teaches them all about how to make sure they have the 3 essentials for survival (water, food, and shelter). The survival lessons they learn on this show are also frequently interrupted by crazy stunts off helicopters and rope repels down steep cliffs. It’s all totally crazy and totally entertaining. But one day as I was watching the show with my son, Bear said something poignant that stuck with me. He said, “You panic, you die”. And I have used this one over and over on my son ever since to explain the simple fact that when you panic your brain, specifically your prefrontal cortex, shuts down and you just cannot reason through anything after that. Bear Grylls of course went to the extreme of saying you could die, because of course in his line of work you could. Make one wrong impulsive move out of fear and panic, and yes you could die out there in a survival situation.

I think there is something more to be learned from this statement, however. Again, if panic causes us to shut down our ability to reason and plan (or executive functioning), and this ability is what is needed to get us through a challenging situation, then shouldn’t we learn not to panic. I mean look what panic has done in this present situation we are facing. Out of sheer fear over the possible loss of essentials people were doing anything to stock up on the most basic things. My husband’s coworker actually saw 2 guys throwing punches in the market over a package of toilet paper. Seriously! And people were standing line for long periods of time in confined spaces next to others hoping to stock up on what they needed in order to then be able to stay away from others who might have the virus. Meanwhile they had just spent hours of angst potentially exposing themselves to the virus in the process. And still others were stocking up to the point of hoarding, which is what caused that panic on toilet paper in the first place. And once toilet paper was gone it went to stocking up on baby wipes, the end result of which was that it left families with babies without wipes. What a mess. Now I’m not saying we shouldn’t reasonably stock up for our families on what we need. We’ve done that in my family. But what I am saying is that panic never leads to good well-thought-out results. And it certainly doesn’t lead to peace of mind.

Center Yourself: 

First things first take a deep breath and center yourself. Deep breathing can do a world of good for anyone feeling anxious. My daughter is an expert at this technique now. First take a deep breath through your nose. Then hold the air in for 6 seconds. Lastly slowly let it out through your mouth. This will literally bring your heart rate down. Now do that several more times until you feel calmer physically. 

After you have calmed yourself physically you need to deal with the emotional and mental stress you are experiencing. I’m not a counselor, but I’ve benefitted from it greatly while raising my daughter, and I’ve gleaned a few things over the years that can help. Journaling is a wonderful way to get your thoughts and feelings out instead of harboring them inside. When you write or type your thoughts and feelings out you can take a step back and look at them more objectively. Sometimes our thoughts and feelings are very real and legitimate. And sometimes they are based on false narratives and things that are not true and correct. When we take the time to look at these things, we can more easily process through them.

Make a Plan: 

Lastly make a plan for the next time you are feeling anxious and fearful. The best plans in life include proactive steps. The first step you can take proactively, when it comes to fear, is to let go of what you cannot control. After journaling your thoughts and feelings and standing back to take a look at them, you may notice that there are some things you cannot really do anything about. This sense of helplessness is of course what often triggers panic in the first place, but it is also the first step to freedom. When we realize that we can do nothing, this is when we can begin to let go and unburden ourselves by giving it up to God. He is trustworthy to hold your burdens and to calm your fears. The one who calmed the wind and sea is completely able to calm the storm inside of you and me. (Matthew 8:27)

The next proactive step is to fill your mind and heart with concrete truths from the word of God. As a Christian, I believe that God is real and that the words He spoke in the Bible are real and trustworthy. Having dealt with fear and panic to the point of even having a few panic attacks over our daughter, I know that there is no other lifeline or safety net like the word of God. It is a healing balm to my heart. It is a breath of fresh air to my soul. And it is a calming truth to my fearful mind. This is why I read the Bible daily, and as much as possible I memorize its truths. This is the most vital part to the survivalist’s guide to dealing with fear. Know God’s word. Here’s a verse to get you started with.

“Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.” Isaiah 41:10